Fear of being forgotten

by - July 30, 2019

Clingendael

Yesterday I visited my grandparents again in the hospital and my grandma kept crying. She is really worried about my grandpa and I am very worried for both of them. My great grandmother, the mother of my grandpa had dementia prior her death. She used to live in China and in the final years she stayed in an elderly home in Hong Kong, if you can even call it that. I visited her in 2014 and it was heartbreaking seeing her like that and one week after I came back home, she passed away.

I guess you could say that I have a fear of being forgotten. My grandparents are the dearest to me and they basically saw me grow up, since I lived next doors and I never had a babysitter or went to children's care. My grandparents took care of me while my parents were working. So seeing my grandparents now suffering, is really hard for me to watch. I can't accept it yet that my grandpa is gradually going to be more forgetful, untill he can't recognize us anymore... It brings an endless stream of tears and I am not ready to let go....


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